Why I'm Buying a One-Way Ticket to Costa Rica Instead of the Moon Party

December 13th, I’m buying a one-way ticket to Costa Rica.

No return date. No fixed plans. Just PachaMama Eco Village and whatever consciousness wants to orchestrate.

But that’s not the interesting part.

The interesting part is the six-week journey of my body systematically rejecting every other option until the right one appeared. This is what embodied discernment actually looks like—and it’s nothing like the spiritual platitudes suggest.

[Currently sitting in Vancouver watching the rain, feeling that particular excitement that comes when you know you’re about to do something that changes everything. Not because it’s brave. Because it’s simply what emerges when there’s no “me” blocking the signal...]

The Decision That Wasn’t

Here’s what people imagine: You sit in meditation, receive a divine download, and book your ticket to enlightenment.

Here’s what actually happened: Six weeks of my nervous system saying NO to perfectly good options while my mind scrambled to understand why.

The lineup:

• Japan (Kyoto temples, Tokyo energy, novel experiences, structured beauty)

• Thailand (moon parties, cheap living, digital nomad scene)

• Brazil (Carnaval energy, jungle retreats, adventure)

• Bali (tantra workshops, everyone I know is there)

• India (Osho commune, spiritual authenticity, the source)

On paper? Any of them would work. Each had the right ingredients: warm weather, spiritual community, adventure, transformation potential.

But my body kept throwing up red flags I couldn’t quite name.

[This is the part nobody talks about in “trust your intuition” Instagram posts—that your body’s NO often arrives before your mind can articulate WHY...]

When Smart Decisions Feel Wrong

Let me tell you about Thailand first.

Full moon parties. Beach living. $30/day budget. The digital nomad dream. I had friends there. I knew the infrastructure. It made complete sense.

I started researching flights.

And felt... nothing.

Not resistance exactly. Not fear. Just this flatness. Like looking at a beautiful photograph that should move you but doesn’t.

“Maybe I’m just overthinking it,” my mind said. “Just book it.”

My body said: “Keep looking.”

The Japan Seduction

What about Japan then?

This one felt sophisticated. Kyoto temples and Zen gardens. Tokyo’s electric energy. Ramen culture. Cherry blossoms. The aesthetic precision of a culture that makes art out of everything.

Plus—ordained Zen priest visiting the source? That had narrative appeal. Instagram gold. The perfect story.

I researched ryokans. Contemplated monastery stays. Imagined myself in traditional baths, sitting zazen in ancient temples.

And felt my body say: “You’re tourism-ing your lineage.”

Ouch.

See, I could already sit zazen. I’d already integrated the Zen transmission. Going to Japan would be... what? Collecting stamps in my spiritual passport? Taking photos of myself being enlightened in authentic locations?

It would be beautiful. Novel. Aesthetically perfect.

And completely beside the point.

[The mind loves a good narrative. “Zen priest returns to Japan!” sounds way better than “Guy goes to Costa Rica.” But the body doesn’t care about your story. It only cares about alignment...]

So I pivoted to Brazil.

Now THIS made sense. Energy, movement, music, life. The exact opposite of Canadian winter. I could feel the warmth, imagine the adventure.

I pulled up flights to Salvador.

And there it was again—that same flatness. Like trying to get excited about someone else’s vacation plans.

[Twenty years of meditation teaches you to distinguish between mind’s hesitation (fear, analysis, overthinking) and body’s hesitation (somatic wisdom, deeper knowing, cellular truth). They feel completely different. Mind’s NO comes with story. Body’s NO just... is.]

The Bali Almost-Booking

Bali was the hardest one to walk away from.

Because Bali had everything: My friends. Tantra workshops. Spiritual community. The whole conscious living ecosystem.

I found a month-long tantra intensive. Sacred sexuality, shadow work, community. Exactly my frequency.

I almost clicked “Register.”

And my body said: “No. You already have all those vibes.”

Wait, what?

That’s when it hit me: I wasn’t looking for MORE of what I already embody. I was looking for where that embodiment wanted to live.

See, I could teach tantra. I could lead shadow work. I’ve been ordained Zen for years. I have the spiritual depth, the practices, the realizations.

Going to Bali to GET what I already HAVE would be... performing spirituality. Seeking what’s already integrated. A sophisticated form of spiritual shopping.

[The ego loves spiritual tourism. “I’ll go do THIS retreat and THAT workshop and become MORE awakened.” But sometimes integration requires something simpler: just living. Just being. Just showing up without the costume.]

When India Felt Too On-Brand

Then came India.

The Osho commune in Pune. The source. Where so much of my spiritual lineage came through.

I researched their programs. Dynamic meditation. Therapy groups. The whole Rajneesh toolkit.

And felt my body go: “Been there, integrated that.”

Not with arrogance. With recognition.

I’ve done the wild meditation. I’ve moved the energy. I’ve faced the demons. I’ve sat with the void. The Osho vibes are already in my cells.

Going to India would be a pilgrimage to what I’ve already lived.

And my body was making it clear: This trip isn’t about spiritual consumption. It’s about spiritual contribution from wholeness.

That changed everything.

The Three-Year Loop Closes

Then a friend casually mentioned: “Have you thought about Costa Rica?”

And something clicked.

Wait. Costa Rica.

PachaMama.

I’d found that place THREE YEARS AGO. Back in 2022, when I lived in San Jose for eight months. I’d bookmarked it, felt drawn to it, started making plans to visit.

But my girlfriend at the time said, “Bali would be better.”
My friend agreed: “More happening in Bali.”

So I listened to external wisdom instead of internal knowing.

And here it was, appearing again. Like the universe tapping my shoulder: “Remember this?”

[Reality Transurfing calls these “signs” - but not in the magical thinking way. More like: consciousness leaves breadcrumbs to paths we’re meant to walk, and when we ignore them, they reappear. Sometimes you need three years of integration before you’re ready to follow the trail...]

The Green Light Test

I pulled up PachaMama’s website.

And everything went: YES.

Not excitement. Not fantasy. Just... green lights.

• Daily meditation with 90+ conscious humans

• Jungle and river and ocean

• Community without commitment (come and go freely)

• Remote work infrastructure

• No pressure to perform spirituality

• Space to contribute as Zen priest OR just be

• The exact timing (ending as Ketu Dasha completes, Venus period begins)

Every single element aligned.

But here’s what made it undeniable: I booked it that same day.

No wavering. No second-guessing. No “let me sleep on it.”

Just: This is it. Book it. Done.

When you know, you know. And knowing doesn’t come with fireworks—it comes with quiet certainty.

[The mind wants drama and validation. The body just knows. And when body-knowing arrives, action becomes effortless. Not because it’s easy, but because resistance dissolves...]

The Slide I’m Testing

Here’s where Reality Transurfing gets practical.

In Zeland’s framework, a “slide” is a visceral vision of your desired reality. Not a goal you’re chasing—a reality you’re stepping into. You don’t visualize it from outside. You feel it from inside.

My slide has been crystallizing for years:

The Vision:

• Conscious family (with who? Universe knows, I don’t)

• My future children spending winters in Costa Rica with their friends at the eco-village school

• Summers and falls at the lakefront house in Canada

• Split-year lifestyle: paradise winters, Canadian summers

• Remote work enabling freedom (I’m co-founder/owner of 4 companies like Elon Musk - but I’ve built them remote-first)

• Raising children in community, nature, consciousness

• Contributing as priest/teacher/leader while just... living

The Question:
Do I actually want this? Or is it just a pretty fantasy?

There’s only one way to find out: Immerse in it. Feel the truth.

So I’m going to PachaMama for however long it takes to know:

• Does my body say YES to daily community meditation?

• Do I thrive in jungle-river-ocean rhythm?

• Does remote work from paradise actually work?

• Is this the container (while being no container) for the life I want?

• Can I imagine raising kids here?

[Reality Transurfing says: Don’t visualize your slide from the outside. LIVE it. Step into the reality and see if it fits. Your body will know immediately if you’re in the right lifeline or forcing yourself into someone else’s dream...]

This isn’t a vacation. It’s an embodiment test.

The No-Container Philosophy Lives

Remember the concept I’ve been writing about—”no container” in relationships? Choosing your partner daily instead of trapping them in commitment?

This trip is that philosophy applied to LIFE:

No return ticket = No container
No fixed plans = No outcome grasping
No predetermined length = Total trust
No safety timeline = Pure presence

The universe orchestrated perfect conditions:

• Tenant flexible through March (removes housing pressure)

• Remote work possible (removes financial fear)

• 90-day visa extendable (removes time constraint)

• Ketu ending, Venus beginning (removes cosmic resistance)

I’m going the way water flows—not forcing direction, just responding to what opens.

This terrifies the control-seeking mind.
This delights the surrender-capable heart.

[Ten days until departure. The synchronicities keep stacking. The body keeps confirming. The mind keeps trying to make it mean something. But maybe it doesn’t mean anything except: This is what’s next. And next is enough...]

The Difference Between Escape and Alignment

Looking back on the six-week journey, here’s the distinction that became crystal clear:

Escape asks: What am I running from?
Alignment asks: What am I moving toward?

Every option before Costa Rica had escape energy:

• Japan = escaping into narrative (”the perfect story”)

• Thailand = escaping winter

• Brazil = escaping routine

• Bali = escaping ordinariness

• India = escaping Western conditioning

Costa Rica? No escape. Just arrival.

I’m going AS contributor (Zen priest offerings, financial support, presence)
Not as seeker (work exchange, spiritual shopping, healing journey)

I’m going WITH wholeness (nothing to fix, nothing to get)
Not with wounding (using community to feel whole)

I’m going without return ticket (trusting discernment completely)
Not with safety net (hedging against commitment)

[The body can’t fake this distinction. You can intellectually convince yourself that escape is alignment, but your nervous system knows the difference. Feel into it: Does your “yes” come with relief (escape) or rightness (alignment)?]

How to Recognize Body-Knowing vs Mind-Wanting

After six weeks of this process, I’ve learned to distinguish:

Mind-Wanting Feels Like:

• Excitement with slight anxiety underneath

• Needing external validation (”Should I do this?”)

• Building elaborate justifications

• Wavering with new information

• Checking for better options constantly

Body-Knowing Feels Like:

• Quiet certainty without drama

• No need for external validation

• Simple, clear action

• Stable despite new information

• Options naturally fall away

Japan made my mind excited (narrative!) but my body said “tourism.”
Thailand made my mind excited (adventure!) but my body was flat.
Costa Rica made my mind uncertain (what about all the OTHER options?) but my body was settled.

This is the practice: Trusting the signal under the noise.

[Biohacking your consciousness isn’t about optimizing your morning routine—it’s about calibrating your nervous system to recognize truth. HRV goes up when you’re aligned. Jaw unclenches. Breath deepens. Shoulders drop. Your body is always telling you. Question is: Are you listening?]

The Practice: Your Own Body Wisdom

You don’t need a six-week discernment process. You don’t need multiple rejected options to find the right one.

You just need to get quiet enough to feel the difference between these two questions:

“What should I do?” = Mind running scenarios
“What’s already moving?” = Body revealing truth

Try this:

Think of a decision you’re facing.
Notice where your mind goes (pros, cons, analysis).
Then drop into your body.

Ask: “If I choose Option A, how does my body respond?”
Notice: Expansion or contraction? Ease or effort? YES or NO?

Then: “If I choose Option B?”
Notice again.

Your body already knows. It’s just waiting for you to stop arguing with it.

[After 20+ years of meditation and somatic work, I’ve learned: The body doesn’t lie. It can’t. It has no agenda except alignment. The mind? The mind can rationalize anything. Trust the meat, not the story...]

Your Turn

I want to hear about YOUR body wisdom moments:

• When did your body say NO to something your mind wanted?

• What “green light” moment changed your direction?

• Where are you currently arguing with your nervous system?

• What decision is your body already making that you’re still debating?

• What’s YOUR slide—and are you brave enough to test if you actually want it?

And if you’re facing a choice right now—stop reading this and feel into it. Not with your head. With your belly, your breath, your bones.

Your body already knows.

The question is: Are you brave enough to follow it?

Keep trusting the meat,

• Cian

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P.S. - The 2022 loop closing after three years taught me something: When you ignore your body’s YES, it doesn’t disappear. It waits. It integrates you until you’re ready. Then it reappears, patient as gravity, asking again: “Now?”

This time, I’m saying yes.

And I’m about to find out if the slide I’ve been holding is actually mine—or just a beautiful story I told myself about someone else’s life.

Only one way to know: Step in. Feel the truth. Trust the body.

See you in the jungle.