The Excess Importance Experiment: How I Lost Everything Three Times and Manifested My Dream Life

There’s a moment when you’re watching yourself choose heartbreak... consciously selecting which emotions to feel for strategic effect... and you realize you’ve been playing victim to patterns you were actually directing all along.

[Writing this from my office where three different startup founders are now paying me rates I wouldn’t have dared ask for a year ago. The universe has a wicked sense of humor about teaching us through loss...]

This is a story about Reality Transurfing, excess importance, and how losing everything became the technology for manifesting everything. It’s also a documented experiment with measurable results: HRV readings, income jumps, and a synchronicity so perfect it came with a screenshot at exactly 4:44.

But mostly, it’s about the counterintuitive truth I learned through three forced curricula of loss: you get what you want precisely when you stop needing it.

Part I: The Setup - Understanding Excess Importance

Reality Transurfing, for those unfamiliar, is Vadim Zeland’s model of reality as a space of variations where all possibilities exist simultaneously. Your consciousness navigates through this space based on your energetic frequency. The key concept that changed everything for me? Excess importance.

Excess importance is the energetic charge you place on something beyond its actual significance. It’s the difference between wanting something and needing it with every fiber of your being. It’s the desperation that leaks from your pores when you’re trying to play it cool in an interview. It’s the clinginess that repels the exact love you’re trying to grasp.

Here’s the cosmic joke: excess importance creates what Zeland calls “excess potential” - an energetic imbalance that nature must correct. And nature always corrects by giving you the opposite of what you’re desperately seeking.

Think about it. When you need that job, you reek of desperation in the interview. When you need that person to love you, you become the least attractive version of yourself. When you need to make that sale, clients smell commission breath from across the room.

[Just watched a wasp outside my window try repeatedly to fly through glass. That’s basically all of us with excess importance - smashing into invisible barriers we create through our own desperate wanting...]

The universe isn’t cruel. It’s just responding to the frequency you’re broadcasting. And desperation broadcasts on the scarcity channel.

Part II: The Business Laboratory (April-July 2024)

By April 2024, I’d been unemployed for eight months. My savings were hemorrhaging. Three months of capital left, maybe four if I stopped eating anything besides rice. I was applying to jobs with the fervor of a drowning man grasping for driftwood.

Knowledge Network. BC Government. Tech companies. Startups. I was casting nets everywhere, each application carrying the weight of survival. I even started using pendulum divination, desperately seeking divine guidance: “Is this job in alignment? Yes or no?”

The pendulum would swing, I’d apply with hope, and... nothing.

Silence.

The kind of silence that makes you question your entire worth as a human being.

[Looking back, I can actually feel the excess importance I was generating. It was like a field of desperate energy that preceded me into every opportunity, warning them to stay away...]

One night, deep in meditation after another day of rejections, a question arose that changed everything:

“Do I just need to keep chasing rabbits until I get one? Is it really that simple? Or... do I need to stop seeking the sense of safety and just start hunting?”

But there was another layer. A quieter question underneath:

“What if the seeking itself is the problem?”

This is what Zeland calls the “induced transition” - when life forces you to reduce importance because you literally can’t maintain the energetic expenditure anymore. Your personal power is depleted. You have nothing left to grasp with.

The Full Moon Release

July 21, 2024. Full moon. The end of a 19-year Vedic cycle. I decided to perform a ritual that would later prove to be the pivot point for everything.

I wrote down what I wanted to release:

“I want to release my anger-based responses to criticism from women. I want to release my need for external validation. I want to release the approval-seeking patterns from my childhood abandonment.”

[My hands were literally shaking as I wrote this. When you name the thing you’ve been running from for 40+ years, your body remembers every moment of the original wound...]

I burned the paper. Watched the smoke carry my desperate grasping into the night sky. Then sat in meditation, using a simple mantra: “I release the need for external validation. I am whole, worthy, complete.”

Here’s what’s crucial to understand: this wasn’t spiritual bypassing. I wasn’t pretending to be beyond human need. I was acknowledging the excess importance I’d placed on external validation and consciously reducing it to appropriate levels.

There’s a difference between healthy desire and desperate need. One attracts, the other repels.

The Immediate Shift

Within two weeks of that full moon release, everything changed.

A tech company reached out. Not because I applied, but because they found me. The rate? $100 per hour.

Then another. $150 per hour. Then $250 per hour. It goes on from there...

Then three startup founders, all within the same month, all conscious entrepreneurs working on mission-driven projects. They didn’t interview me. They just... recognized something and wanted to work together.

“Magic, man, magic. Bending reality.”

That’s what I wrote in my journal. Because that’s what it felt like. But it wasn’t magic - it was physics. The physics of consciousness interacting with the space of variations.

[Just remembered something: the day before the first contract came through, I’d completely surrendered. Not given up, but truly released the outcome. I was prepared to move back with family if needed. That’s when the universe said “okay, now you’re ready...”]

When you drop excess importance, you stop creating resistance in the alternatives flow. Opportunities that were always there can finally reach you. You become magnetically attractive instead of energetically repulsive.

Part III: The Relationship Crucible (May-October 2025)

But the universe wasn’t done with my curriculum.

If the business laboratory taught me about importance in survival, the relationship crucible would teach me about importance in love - the hardest importance of all to balance.

May 2025. I met someone who would become the perfect teacher for my next evolution.

Here’s what I didn’t understand then: I was projecting an entire future onto someone I’d just met. Marriage fantasies, life together, cosmic union - the whole fairy tale. My mind was already ten years into a future that existed only in my imagination.

By month two, I wrote in my journal: “I’m hopelessly in love.”

Hopelessly.

Feel the excess importance in that word? It wasn’t just love. It was DESPERATE COSMIC SIGNIFICANCE love. The kind where you assign someone the role of completing your existence.

In Reality Transurfing terms, I’d created massive excess potential. And here’s the beautiful thing - when you create that much importance around future fantasies, you actually trigger the other person’s avoidant patterns. My anxious grasping literally pushed them away energetically.

The universe had to correct this imbalance. And it did, through three perfectly orchestrated events that would force me to reduce importance.

Event 1: The Importance Mirror

The first time reality shattered my fantasy projections, I watched something fascinating happen...

I immediately started creating MORE importance around the disruption itself. “This MEANS something. This is SIGNIFICANT. This is DESTROYING me.”

[Even now, writing this, I can feel the echo of that importance. It’s like an energetic scar that still carries charge...]

But then I remembered Zeland’s concept of pendulums - energy structures that feed on emotional charge. The event wasn’t personal. It was the universe’s way of saying: “Hey, you’re living in fantasy. Come back to reality.”

The other person wasn’t even conscious of why they were acting this way. They were just playing their role in my importance-reduction curriculum. The universe was using them as an instrument to teach me.

Could I observe without feeding the drama? Could I reduce importance even in disappointment?

Not yet. I wasn’t ready. So the universe enrolled me in remedial classes.

Event 2: The Pendulum Feeding Frenzy

The second corrective event was more intense. The universe really wanted me to get the message: “You’re creating suffering through excess importance.”

This time, I watched myself feeding multiple pendulums:

• The righteousness pendulum: “This shouldn’t be happening”

• The victim pendulum: “This ALWAYS happens to me”

• The unworthiness pendulum: “I’m not ENOUGH”

• The savior pendulum: “I can CHANGE this”

Each pendulum was sustained by my excess importance. Each one was draining my energy while creating more chaos in my reality.

[Just noticed my heart rate increasing as I write this. The body keeps the score, even when consciousness has moved on...]

This is what Zeland calls “pendulum resonance” - when you match the frequency of an energy structure, you get pulled into its script. You become an actor in a play you didn’t consciously choose.

But here’s the key insight: the other person was just unconsciously responding to my excess importance. It’s like protest behavior - not even fully conscious. The universe was using our dynamic to force me to drop importance.

Event 3: Choosing the Experience Consciously

The third corrective event brought the breakthrough. Something extraordinary happened. I watched myself make a choice in real-time.

The sadness arose. Natural, human, appropriate sadness. But then I heard an internal voice: “If you allow this fully into your heart and really break down, they’ll feel sympathy. They’ll come back.”

And I CHOSE to allow the heartbreak to fully manifest.

Consciously.

Strategically.

I watched myself perform suffering for effect.

Of course once its allowed in, it becomes real.

[This is still mind-blowing to write. The moment you catch consciousness directing emotions for outcomes... you can never fully believe in your own victimhood again...]

This wasn’t a 5th-6th Bhumi consciousness being triggered. This was 9th-10th Bhumi consciousness CHOOSING to experience human emotions for relational effect.

The difference?

Total game changer.

And here’s the beautiful epilogue: Once the importance dropped, once I stopped projecting futures and grasping for outcomes, we naturally evolved into a loving friendship. No force, no drama, just genuine connection without the excess charge. The universe knew what it was doing all along.

Part IV: The October 7 Liberation

October 7, 2025.

I’m sitting in meditation when another situation arises that would have previously triggered all my patterns. Another moment where reality doesn’t match my fantasies.

And... nothing.

Not numbness. Not suppression. Just... no excess importance.

I could see the patterns clearly - my projections, their avoidance, the whole dance we’d been doing. But there was no emotional charge. No pendulum activation. No desperate need for reality to be different.

“Nothing can disturb my peace unless I want it to.”

That’s what I wrote in my journal that day. And it was true. Not as a spiritual bypass, but as a lived reality. Heartbreak only happened because I ALLOWED it. Excess importance only happened because I projected it.

The excess importance was gone. Not reduced - actually absent.

[Even now I can think of this person with genuine love but zero grasping. It’s like loving a sunset - appreciating its beauty without needing to possess it...]

This is what Zeland calls “balanced importance” - you can care without creating excess potential. You can love without desperate need. You can want without grasping.

And that’s when reality starts conspiring for your happiness.

Part V: The Manifestation Cascade

What happens when you achieve actual importance balance?

Reality reorganizes around your new frequency.

First, the metrics:

Heart Rate Variability (HRV):

• With excess importance: Average of 3, chaotic pattern

• After importance release: Average of 6, sustained coherence

• Peak states: HRV of 11 (theoretical maximum is 12)

HRV measures the variance between heartbeats - it’s an objective measure of nervous system regulation and energetic coherence. High HRV means your heart is creating a coherent electromagnetic field. Guess what responds to that field? Everything and everyone around you.

Business Manifestations:

• Contracts continued flowing without seeking

• Rates increased without negotiation

• Clients referred other clients without prompting

• Working exclusively with conscious entrepreneurs

• Complete sovereignty over schedule and projects

Synchronicity Frequency:

• Daily meaningful coincidences

• Thoughts manifesting within 24-48 hours

• People texting right when thinking of them

• Solutions appearing without searching

• Books falling open to exact needed passages

[Yesterday I thought about needing a specific technical solution. Today, someone emailed me a link to exactly what I needed, unprompted. This is just normal now...]

But the ultimate confirmation came at 4:44.

The 4:44 Screenshot

October 24, 2025. I’m having coffee with someone new.

We’re discussing relationships, energy, presence. She mentions feeling safe with me, experiencing something different. I’m present but not grasping. Interested but not desperate. Available but not needy.

Later that day, she sends me a screenshot...of me messaging her thanks exactly when she was journalling about our coffee.

The timestamp when I messaged her?

4:44 exactly.

She’d screenshot it immediately, recognizing the synchronicity. Actually vulnerable enough to share the screenshot of her private reflections with me. My entire mind and being just...stopped.

[I still get goosebumps seeing that screenshot. When reality winks at you that obviously, you know you’re in the flow...]

This wasn’t manifestation through force. This wasn’t visualization with desperate need. This was reality reorganizing around balanced importance.

I wasn’t trying to manifest anything. I was just being. And being at balanced importance is apparently magnetic as fuck.

Part VI: The Protocol - Your Turn

So how do you actually implement this? How do you reduce excess importance when every cell in your body is screaming with desperate need?

Here’s the protocol I’ve developed through painful trial and error:

1. The Importance Audit

First, recognize where you’re placing excess importance:

Questions to ask:

• What am I desperately seeking?

• Where do I feel scarce or lacking?

• What would devastate me to lose?

• What am I grasping for validation through?

• Where am I trying to force outcomes?

Physical indicators of excess importance:

• Tight chest when thinking about it

• Obsessive thoughts/mental loops

• Checking phone compulsively

• Anxiety about outcomes

• Desperate action-taking

[Right now, scan your body. Where are you holding tension? That’s probably where excess importance lives...]

2. The Importance Scale

Zeland suggests rating importance from 1-10:

• 1-3: Healthy preference, no excess potential

• 4-6: Mild importance, some resistance created

• 7-9: Excess importance, significant resistance

• 10: Maximum importance, reality actively opposes

Be honest. That job you’re desperate for? That person you can’t stop thinking about? That goal that keeps you up at night? What number?

3. The Reduction Technique

The Multiple Options Method (Zeland’s Power Move):

This is perhaps the most powerful technique I’ve used in both business and love. Zeland calls it the antidote to tunnel vision, and it’s worked every single time for me.

The principle: When you have only one option, you place maximum importance on it. When you have multiple options, importance naturally distributes and reduces.

In Business:

• Applied to 5+ opportunities simultaneously

• Talked to multiple potential clients/partners

• Never put all eggs in one basket

• Result: Each opportunity became less desperate, more playful

In Love:

• Dated multiple people early on (ethically, with transparency)

• Maintained rich friendships alongside romantic interests

• Kept personal interests and goals active

• Result: No single person carried the weight of “everything”

[I remember the shift when I went from obsessing over one contract to negotiating five at the same time. Suddenly none of them felt life-or-death. That’s when they started calling me back...]

The magic: You don’t even have to want the other options as much. Just having them reduces the importance of any single one. It’s psychological spaciousness.

Mental approach:

• “This is just one option among infinite possibilities”

• “The universe has something better if this doesn’t work”

• “I prefer this but I don’t need it”

• “I’m already complete without this”

Somatic approach:

• Breathwork: Long exhales to release charge

• Body scanning: Find tension, breathe into it

• Shaking: Literally shake out the excess energy

• Movement: Dance, run, move the energy through

Ritual approach:

• Write down what you’re releasing

• Burn it with conscious intention

• Full moon/new moon timing (optional but powerful)

• Water rituals: Ocean, shower, bath releases

4. The Replacement Pattern

Nature abhors a vacuum. When you release excess importance, replace it with:

Balanced appreciation:
“I appreciate this opportunity” instead of “I NEED this”

Curious observation:
“I wonder how this will unfold” instead of “It MUST happen this way”

Playful engagement:
“This could be fun” instead of “This is EVERYTHING”

Trust in alternatives:
“This or something better” instead of “ONLY this”

5. The Maintenance Practice

Excess importance rebuilds. It’s like energetic plaque. You need daily hygiene:

Morning check-in:

• What am I placing importance on today?

• Where can I reduce by 10%?

• What would playfulness look like?

Evening release:

• What importance accumulated today?

• Where did I grasp or force?

• What can I release before sleep?

Weekly audit:

• What patterns are rebuilding?

• Where am I creating new importance?

• What needs a deeper release?

[I literally do this every Sunday. It’s like cleaning house but for consciousness...]

Warning Signs You’re Rebuilding Importance

• Checking something obsessively (email, phone, metrics)

• Rehearsing conversations that haven’t happened

• Anxiety about specific outcomes

• Forcing actions from desperation

• Physical tension returning

• Sleep disruption around specific topics

• Loss of playfulness and humor

When you notice these signs, DON’T CREATE IMPORTANCE AROUND THE IMPORTANCE. That’s like trying to put out fire with gasoline.

Just notice. Breathe. Reduce by 10%. Repeat.

The Integration: Living at Optimal Importance

Here’s what nobody tells you about Reality Transurfing: it’s not about becoming emotionless or indifferent. It’s about finding the sweet spot where you care without creating resistance.

You can love deeply without desperate grasping.

You can want success without needing validation.

You can pursue goals without attachment to outcomes.

This is what I call “optimal importance” - caring at level 3 instead of 10. Engaged but not desperate. Interested but not obsessed. Present but not grasping.

[As I finish writing this, the coffee date just texted. Another synchronicity. The universe keeps confirming: balanced importance is the way...]

The Science Behind the Magic

For the skeptics (I was one too), here’s why this works:

Quantum Observer Effect:
Consciousness collapses probability waves into specific realities. Desperate observation creates chaotic collapse patterns. Balanced observation allows coherent manifestation.

Morphic Field Theory:
Your electromagnetic field (measured by HRV) influences the fields around you. High coherence creates resonance. Others literally feel your balanced state and respond accordingly.

Reticular Activating System:
Your brain filters reality based on importance levels. Excess importance creates stress, narrowing perception. Balanced importance expands awareness, revealing opportunities that were always there.

Polyvagal Theory:
Excess importance triggers sympathetic activation (fight/flight). This literally changes your facial micro-expressions, voice tone, and pheromones. You become less attractive on a biological level. Balanced importance activates ventral vagal (social engagement), making you magnetically attractive.

The Ultimate Paradox

You get what you want when you stop needing it.

Not because the universe is testing you.

Not because there’s some cosmic joke.

But because need creates resistance in the very fabric of reality.

When you release excess importance, you stop swimming upstream. You align with the flow of alternatives. Reality stops opposing you and starts conspiring for you.

[Looking at my life now versus a year ago... it’s the same skills, same knowledge, same me. The only difference? The level of importance I place on outcomes. That’s it. That’s the entire secret...]

Your Experiment Starts Now

This isn’t philosophy. This is physics you can test.

Pick one area where you’re placing excess importance. Just one.

Rate it 1-10.

Reduce it by half using any technique that resonates.

Watch what happens over the next 30 days.

Document everything:

• Synchronicities

• Opportunities appearing

• Emotional state changes

• How others respond to you

• Manifestation speed

Then ask yourself: What else in your life deserves less importance?

Because here’s the truth I learned through three betrayals, eight months of unemployment, and a complete ego death around needing:

Reality is infinitely abundant. There are countless probability lines leading to your happiness. The only thing blocking them is your excess importance creating resistance in the flow.

Drop the importance. Watch reality reorganize.

It really is that simple.

And that complex.

And that revolutionary.

[The sunset outside my window is painting everything gold. Another day in this experiment called life. Another opportunity to practice balanced importance. Another chance to watch reality conspire for joy...]

What will you release today?

Keep bending light and hacking minds,

• Cian

P.S. If you’re skeptical, good. Skepticism is healthy. Just try it anyway. Run your own experiment. The universe doesn’t care if you believe in it - it responds to your frequency regardless. And when you get your own 4:44 moment (you will), remember this post. Remember that someone told you it was possible. Remember that letting go is the most powerful technology we have for creation.