No Container: A Love Letter to Conscious Choice
For Every Lover Navigating 2025
Dear God wearing Lover’s face,
Dear Lover wearing God’s grace,
Dear every Lover lost in algorithm’s maze,
Where validation feeds our wounds
And polarization is the new praise—
Listen.
I. The Evolution
I used to write poems about possession
[2019: “Giving Up Bliss” - seeking eternal fusion]
Believing love meant losing separation
Drum beating, mind gone, all reality fleeting
Then I wrote of alchemy and crucibles
[2023: “The Crucible” - hermetic chambers of transformation]
Sacred vessels that must shatter
To birth the philosopher’s stone
By 2025, I wrote to my lunar half
[June: “Letter to My Lunar Half” - recognizing the feminine within]
Still grasping, still prostrating
Still believing completion lived outside myself
But now—
After the retreat breakthrough where you became the tree
After the body said NO to perfect-on-paper
After the heart said YES to impossible complexity
After learning love isn’t something to have
But something to be—
Now I understand.
II. The Algorithm’s Seduction
In 2025, we’re all validated to death
Every wound has a hashtag
Every pattern has a diagnosis
Every hurt finds its echo chamber
Where ten thousand voices confirm:
“Yes, you’re right to close your heart”
The algorithm knows—
Polarization gets engagement
Division drives the metrics
If I validate your avoidant patterns
And you validate my anxious ones
We’ll never have to change
We can stay safe
In our separate realities
Where everyone agrees
We were the victim
But love?
Love doesn’t live in echo chambers.
Love lives in the space between
Where nobody’s right
And everybody’s growing.
III. Reality Transurfing the Heart
Zeland whispered the secret:
Importance creates resistance
The harder you grasp, the more it slips
Potential lines collapse
When we mandate their direction
So what if—
[And I can barely write this]
What if love isn’t a container at all?
Not marriage’s prison
Not monogamy’s fortress
Not polyamory’s maze
Not even conscious relating’s agreements
What if love is just—
Choice.
Daily.
Renewed.
IV. No Container
No container
Every day wake up
Choose you
Again and again each day
The door is always open
There are no constraints
We are with one another
Because of a choice
That we renew
Each day
Until
The end
This isn’t giving up commitment—
This is the deepest commitment possible:
To choose you
When I’m free not to
To stay
When the door’s wide open
To love
Without a net
V. The Shadow Integration
I know what you’re thinking—
[Because I thought it too]
“But what about security?”
“What about boundaries?”
Yes.
All of that is real.
But boundaries aren’t containers—
They’re clarity about what I choose
Maybe one day
I’ll choose to leave
Not because you broke a rule
But because I see
You’re choosing something else
And that’s okay.
You get to choose.
Every day.
Just like me.
VI. To the Lover (All Lovers, Everywhere)
You want freedom to choose
Without constraints or expectations
Of a defined container
I see you.
Not the projection
Not the fantasy
Not the wound
But YOU—
The seeker in transformation
The one navigating complexity
The soul on retreats
The heart learning to trust
Even when uncertain
And I choose you.
Today.
Without container.
Without guarantee.
Without tomorrow promised.
Just this:
Pure choice.
Pure presence.
Pure love.
VII. To Myself (And Every Anxious Lover)
Remember—
You looked everywhere for love
[2021: “The One Who Cries”]
Until you learned
You ARE the love you’re seeking
Your touch needs are met
Through community, massage, dance
You’re the tree now
Roots deep, branches wide
No longer the desperate seedling
Seeking someone else’s soil
So you can choose
Without desperation
Love without grasping
Stay without clinging
Leave without dying
This is earned security:
Knowing you’re whole
While choosing to dance
With another whole being
Creating something neither could alone
VIII. The Paradox
How can we love
Without accepting the person as they are?
We can’t.
But accepting doesn’t mean
Tolerating harmful patterns
Accepting means seeing clearly—
“Oh, you’re still in old patterns”
“Oh, you struggle with boundaries”
“Oh, you need time to heal”
I accept that’s where you are.
AND I choose whether to stay.
Acceptance without boundaries is codependence.
Boundaries without acceptance is control.
But acceptance WITH boundaries?
That’s conscious love.
IX. The Daily Practice
Every morning—
Before coffee, before thoughts crowd in
I feel into the question:
“Do I choose this today?”
Not from wound
Not from pattern
Not from yesterday’s momentum
But from this moment’s truth
Some days it’s thunderous YES
Some days it’s quiet yes
Some days it’s honest maybe
But it’s always conscious
And you—
You get to ask the same
Without guilt
Without explanation
Without apology
We meet
Or we don’t
In choice
X. The New Way
This is conscious love in 2025:
Not the algorithm’s validation loops
Not the wound’s echo chamber
Not traditional marriage’s prison
Not modern polyamory’s complexity
Not spiritual bypassing’s escape
But this:
Two sovereign beings
Choosing daily
Without container
Without constraint
Without forever promised
Without security guaranteed
Just choice.
Raw.
Real.
Renewed.
XI. The Prayer
Dear God/Lover/Universe/Self—
Grant me the courage
To love without containers
The wisdom
To maintain boundaries without walls
The strength
To choose daily without guaranteeing tomorrow
The grace
To accept what is while choosing what I’ll allow
Let me trust
That what’s meant to stay
Will choose to
And what’s meant to go
Will leave
And both are love
In different forms
XII. The Final Truth
“I want to see what grows between us naturally”
—My voice note to you
Without projection
Without curation
Without mandating
Without forcing
Just watching
What emerges
When two free beings
Choose each other
Again
And again
And again
Or don’t.
And that’s okay too.
Because love—
Real love—
Doesn’t need containers.
It just needs consciousness.
It just needs choice.
It just needs truth.
Every day
Until the end
Whatever that looks like
However it comes
This is my love letter
To conscious choice
To no container
To freedom
To you
To me
To us
To God
To 2025
To everyone trying to love
Without losing themselves
Or controlling another
The door is open.
We’re here by choice.
That’s the only container
That’s ever mattered.
Written in the space between attachment and freedom
Where all real love is born
And reborn
Daily
Keep bending reality and choosing love,
- Cian
P.S. To everyone navigating love in 2025: Stop letting the algorithm tell you who’s toxic. Stop letting echo chambers validate your wounds. Start choosing. Daily. Consciously. Without guarantee. That’s where love actually lives.
P.P.S. Lover, if you’re reading this: I choose you today. Tomorrow, we’ll see. But today? Full yes. No container needed.