Triggers in the Corporate World. Back in my corporate days, I was a technology guy up and coming into a telecommunications company.
I eventually hit the top of my career as Senior Architect, designing 1:1 systems for public safety; Core IP voice of Corporate IP networks for entire provinces.
Ended up working for the Canadian radio telecommunications system, comissioned to defined how 911 would work across canada.
And that’s when I said “Hey! Top of my career, peace out! I’m outta here guys”
One thing I learned and was really important as I leveled up and as I got into that upper stages of my career and of the corporate ladder, was that (and this was predominantly man); When you start working with guys who have gotten in certain middle and upper management, you will start to come across guys who, let’s say; Don’t necessarily play by the rules all the time and will attempt various means of convincing you of their way of work.
An agenda, for business ending up in with Triggers?
So, if go to a meeting with an agenda, and try to make things a certain way, then they are like: NO!
And, not only will they say no, they will also try various tactics with you. Often, they first start out by trying to insult you, or they’ll try to trigger you in a certain way.
One of the most common ways that I’ve found that these guys operate when trying to trigger somebody is, they’ll actually imply that you are insulting them, and that you are somehow stepping on their toes or speaking in an inflamatory manner. And this, for a lot of people, specially younger man, can cause this reaction of:
“Oh! I’m looking for approval most of the time with senior folks, and this guy is not approving of what I’m doing, so OH MY GOSH! I got to manage this. I’m not perfect, he is telling me that I’m not perfect. UGH, he knows somehow”-Triggered young man in Corporate
And you get into this reaction, all of a sudden the conversation feels very uncomfortable.
A lot of people, myself included, specially in my 20s, start to feel very uncomfortable, like wanting to get out of there… Or, maybe fight sometimes. But, in corporate it becomes into a flight response for the younger generations.
In doing so, there is a tendency to agree with almost everything they put on the table. And I have to agree, I definitely fell into this, until I started leveling up my consciousness, and I started being able to catch my own triggers.
Intentionally Triggering you?
I culminated working with a client down in the US, and this is one of these corporate clients. I met one of these guys, that I’m not going to say “intentionally tries to trigger you” but as their survival mechanism, they’ve learned that it works. When they want to get what they want, all they have to do is engage in this kind of pattern of behaviour, that is not necesarilly concious but, if they were concious they might choose to do it anyway. I do know that some people train in this.
I’ve had clients tell me that they’ve been taught that if you can trigger the other person during the negotiation and stay grounded yourself, you have control over the conversation.
Now, I don’t think people are doing this intentionally, however, watch out! Some are.
What do we do about this? This is where meditation comes up along with mindfulness.
When you can go into a meeting and stay grounded in yourself, in your truth, and somebody approaches you and says:
“Oh” You are insulting me!”Someone trying to pull your triggers.
Then you can reply:
“Oh, ok. Let’s talk about that. How I am insulting you? Let’s engage about that”Enlightened YOU
Instead of stepping back and react by thinking that that person is judging you. You just face what there is.
So, with one of this clients, I had this about half-hour conversation, in which he was trying everything in the book to trigger me, by:
- Implying that I was insulting him: To the point that he was flustered and berating me.
This is his defense mechanism to try to get what he wants.
It all goes back to meditation, right? Meditation is all about increasing your capability to stay mindful and to stay aware of what’s going on in your body.
The first step of meditation is Concentration.
Learning to concentrate, unifying the mind, bringing the mind to a point of focus again and again.
Eventually, you learn how to use that state to be able to drop into this big open empty space. Inside this space, it’s timeless, it’s fast, serene, peaceful. this is your ground.
When you learn how to.
When you learn to meditate, and then you learn how to access this space (and this is something I teach my students), you can sit there, and you can take anything that life throws at you. From yourself included. Whether your feeling anxious and frustrated or whatever, you can drop into this space, and then look, at the point of asking yourself:
- Why am I getting anxious?
- Why am I getting frustrated?
You are even able to tell yourself: “Let’s move the energy, let’s investigate the source”. And, eventually, you start to get a better relationship with yourself.
It can be applied to the corporate world too. In the business world, if you are in a negotiation, it comes as a F*cking GREAT technique: from real estate to any other sort of business negotiation.
The Upper Hand
If you can stay grounded in the face of someone trying to pull your triggers, whether intentionally or unintentionally, to get the upper hand; Then it is going to trigger them. Because they are used to have control of the conversation. They are used to their ways and their tactics or patterns.
Dropping the other party into a subservient: “I want to get out of here at any cost or manner”, in which they walk away shaking their heads thinking:
- How did that happen?
- Why did I agree to all of that?
Then they win. But, if you can stay grounded in this space, then you can easyly take on any onslot from anybody.
Whether they are your parents, your boss, your clients, staff, anybody that is trying to get the upper hand in you by engaging your emotional body negatively so that your consciousness drops. And you end up in that triggered state and all of your energy goes to trying to manage not blowing up.
Now, think about all the times you walked out of a conversation shaking your head and asking yourself the former questions. And reflect on: What was the trigger? What is it that the other party did that dropped your consciousness into your emotional body that you didnt have the awareness to push your agenda.
I would love to read your comments, drop them below!