Being seen through. I had a very interesting experience in Vegas. I was moping a little bit at the experience I was in, and was wondering how I got there. I seemed to keep dropping and drooping. Then in an instant, this force pushed through me. Eyes opened and saw everything so clearly! Was only watching, but overwhelmed with such a sense of love and joy, everything was sparkly and beautiful. What was previously dark, mundane, boring? became such…experience.

This morning after Yoga I tried something new. For a few months I had been playing with this Zen / Insight / Dzogchen mindset, using the trigger word from Zen to get there, then coasting along without concentration on a specific object. However, dreams, lucid, astral, and other formless realm stuff seemed to suffer. Darlene instructed me to go back to my concentration exercise which I’ve been doing for the past 3 weeks. Dreams, and such are all coming back with impunity.

This morning, I decided to try an experiment. I started the meditation with the Zen entrance, opening the mind to space, removing contraction in all forms. Resting open, observing thoughts and sensations as signals, part of the same stuff. Then I brought concentration in, but while keeping the mind open and relaxed. At first it was hard maintaining both seemingly polar-opposite mindsets, but eventually I grabbed it, found the groove in the middle.

Almost immediately I was hammered with flashing lights, and pulsing sensations all over. I let go of trying to latch onto anything and just rode them moment by moment, maintaining the open mind and focus on breath. Then that moment where it felt like awareness pushed through me in Vegas popped into my mind…and it happened again. Eyes popped wide open and there was this massive grin. Noticed a buzzing in the back of my head like I had been somewhere else and came back.

But that feeeling of perception. Of being penetrated. Seen through. Pure joy, love. I think there’s something there…not sure what.

Open eyes to see
What couldn’t be seen
What was always there

The buzz clears in an instant
Overwhealming joy bubbles up
The moment, transformed

The barrier between I
And reality filters away
Any possible truth

Luminous, beautiful, mundane
How could it be missed before?
It’s right there, right now

Like tunneling into the moment
Awareness pierces through
You. Are nomore.

A sharp intake of breath
Increases definition
This mind. This awareness.

Walk around in wonder
Feel the ground as if floating
Wander. All the way.

How can such mundane
Become such.

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