Thoughts. I’ve just been writing like a madman tonight. I’m not sure how people are going to take what I said, as I just went into one of those trances where I just write and write and write. It’s almost like I’m being driven. The stuff coming out makes sense, so I see no reason to try and stop it…but wher is it coming from?

You know that feeling where you kinda feel high, your vision skews so eveything looks far away, and your head is tingling? That’s what it’s like. It’s like I’m getting lost in the words, like they’re coming so fast that I can barely type fast enough to keep up (I’m a fast typer). Then I’ll pause in the middle and just blank, only left with the tingling / dizziness.

And then it goes again. See, the problem is, when I do read it after, it still makes sense. It’s almost like my brain is thinking on it’s own without my guidance (however weird that may sound). And no no – don’t even blame this on anything – I’m completely sober and this has been happening since I was a kid. Though – usually back then it would happen when I was being interrogated or lectured. Everything would gain a sort of clarity, however twist so it’s far away. Sound would tune down, without being hard to hear. Sorta muffled. However it would give me this ultra detaced felling and almost an objective view of the situation.

Then it would be over and I’d feel much better about everything.

What is this phenomenon? Has anyone else ever experienced anything like it? Is this normal?

Whatever it is I quite enjoy it. Maybe I should write more often.


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    5 replies to "Thoughts"

  • vladimyr

    With me its when I’m trying to figure something out.
    I don’t get the whole blurry dizziness, but I go sort of blank, without consciously thinking of anything, nothing in the forefront of my mind, but then the answers come, all at once.

    It’s like the unconscious part of my mind took over and started figuring things out faster than the conscious part could even follow.

    The only problem with me is that I can’t write fast enough and am not comfortable enough with abstract math to get it all writ down properly in analogies.

    You’re lucky that your spurts come in the form of writing so that you can record them.

    I think that classically, people who accomplish great works by such a means refered to it as Divine Inspiration.

  • tmscase

    Wow that sux. I just lost my whole comment due to a popup blocker. I guess it went something like this.

    I’ve done stuff like that too. Whenever I’m faced with a problem that I can’t fully grasp – like a business decission that depends on multiple variables, etc…in other words too much information to keep in mind all at the same time, I will ‘ship’ it off to background processing. Then, in a few hours or days, it will come to me – even in sleep sometimes. I’ll wake up and know the answer. The cool thing is that I know it’s right as well – it comes with sortof a ‘backwards’ logic that lets me see how I could have come to this conclusion if I had actually sat and thought about it forever and ever.

    I don’t know what I’d do without it.

  • querida_bonbon

    I don’t know what I’d do without it

    Just think, there are people functioning without this all the time. It’s just like when you have to remind me that ‘Yes, people exist without my/your drive/intelligence/inate sense of logic’

    grrr, i’m going to load more icons…

  • vladimyr

    What’s worse is that I hear that it generally gets worse with age demographic.
    And it’s not that older people are dumb, mostly it just that once you haven’t been activly learning for a while, brains seem to switch in to passivly learning, which is much slower on the uptake of new thoughts. They become less used to figuring things out.

    I hope that I never stop learning.

    Oh my! This entry is all over the place grammatically in both tense and person.

  • querida_bonbon

    My grandma does exercises to help her remember things and to keep learning. Even just logic puzzles and stuff can help, you know.

    I hope that I never stop learning
    Me too.

    Oh, I’m happy that you typed ‘oh my’ it sounds so much like you 🙂

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